February 23, 2013

Review: Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. by Caissie St. Onge

For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so she doesn't fit in with the cool vampire kids at school or with the humans kids. To top it all off, she's battling an overprotective mom, a clique of high school mean girls (the kind who really do have fangs), and the most embarrassing allergy in the history of the undead, she's blood intolerant. So no one's more surprised than Jane when for the first time in her life, things start to heat up (as much as they can for a walking corpse, anyway) with not one, but two boys. Eli's a geeky, but cute real-live boy in her history class, and Timothy is a beautiful, brooding bloodsucker, who might just hold the key to a possible "cure" for vampirism. Facing an eternity of high school pressure, fumbling first dates, or a mere lifetime together with Timothy, what's a 90-something year-old teen vampire to do?
        The Worst Vampire Ever is about Jane Jones, a 90 year old high school student who is blood intolerant. Unfortunately, her highly unusual allergy makes her life tough as a vampire, as does the fact that she's the typical nerdy girl trying to survive in high school. Because of the fact that Jane and her family don't age, they must move approximately every four years so that Jane and her brother Zachary can attend school without causing suspicion. Somehow, though, Jane's infinite life as a high school student hasn't taught her how to fit in. It's no surprise when Eli, another fellow nerd from her history class, is interested in Jane. It IS surprising that Timothy Hunt, a popular vampire in the junior class, also is attracted to thin, unfashionable Jane.
In typical Young Adult fashion, Caissie St. Onge entertains us with the teenage love triangle of vampire nerd-human nerd-vampire popular kid. She also throws in a lot of action and intrigue as well. Jane's new town has a fairly large vampire population, many of them still in high school and still tormenting nerdy new-comers. When an article starts circulating among this blood-thirsty community regarding the miracle cure for vampirism found by a Hungarian professor, Dr. Erdos, excitement and conjecture are the main topic with Astrid, the popular mean-girl vampire, Timothy Hunt, Jane, and their teen peers. Timothy decides to bring Dr. Almos Erdos to town to cure the vampires with disastrous results.
Publisher- Ember Books
Reviewer Rating: 4 Stars
Reviewed by~Cindi

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  1. This looks like a good book. Thanks for sharing your review! I will probably go pick up a copy today! =D

    1. I think you'll find that it's a really fun read Elizabeth. Both my teenager and I read it and we agreed that it was pretty darned good!! lol. There are a lot of vampire books out right now, some a little more intense than others. This is a lighter read. Enjoy!!

  2. Jane Jones, a 90 year old high school student who is blood intolerant. - hahaha this statement sold the book to me.

    1. Ha ha! I think you'll find that this isn't even CLOSE to being the strangest part of this book!! Caissie St. Onge has a very sly wit and dry humor. VERY funny book!!


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